A Lot Like Joan of Arc

Book Cover: A Lot Like Joan of Arc

Janie thinks she and her friends in the city are all set with their plans for cell phones, tattoos, piercings, and smoking until her dad announces the family is moving to a small town with none of the big-city attractions. Despite her protests, she soon finds herself in a place that doesn’t even have a mall, and on one of her first days there, the old lady next door yells at her for trying to pet the old lady’s cat, and that makes things even worse. Janie convinces her dad that she’s capable of caring for a dog since she has no other companions, but her secret intent is to have a big dog to terrify the old lady’s cat. Janie gets the dog and that’s only the beginning of the changes that come into her life because of the change of locale. She tells her own story and it’s delightful to see how a nine-year-old looks at different situations. A Lot Like Joan of Arc is fun to read—no matter what your age—and you’ll find several characters that will work their way into your heart.

Excerpt:

I’m scared of that old lady next door. Mama says not to be, but I can’t help it. Mama didn’t see her when she yelled at me for trying to catch her dumb old cat. She came out on her porch and smacked the post with her cane so I’d look at her and she was all shaky-voiced and she yelled at me, “Leave my cat alone!” I wasn’t gonna hurt her stupid cat in the first place but that old lady looked so mean I just ran home.
I told Mama how ugly and awful that old lady was but Mama said she was sure I was wrong and that the lady had only been trying to protect her cat. “After all, Janie,” she said, “that lady doesn’t know you, so she doesn’t know that you love animals. If you had a cat, you wouldn’t let anyone hurt it either, so she was only doing the same thing you would do. Now since we’re going to be living here, maybe for a long, long time, I suggest you forget about today and think of some way you can get to be friends with the lady.”

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And then Mama went back to what she had been doing and left me just standing there.
I hate when she does that, it makes me feel kind of lost. I don’t even know what to do in this dumb place. I haven’t seen a kid anywhere on the whole block, my games and toys and books haven’t been unpacked yet and I don’t even know where the school or a park is.
I didn’t want to live here anyway. Just because Daddy’s job had to move, I shouldn’t have had to give up my whole life. I had to move away from Cindy and Sage and Jazmin after going all the way through school with them. We had been friends since kindergarten and to have to say good-bye in the third grade was not fair. We had already decided when we would start smoking and what our tattoos would be—and where—and where our jewelry piercings would be. I chose an eyebrow, Cindy said the side of her nose, Sage said three in each ear and Jazmin said her tongue. We tried to talk her into a ring by her bellybutton so she wouldn’t get food stuck in it like she would in her tongue, but she said no, she’d stick with the tongue one ‘cause it would make her momma sick.
Anyway, it wasn’t only them. I had to say good-bye to Jake, the old guy who sold newspapers and stuff in his little shack on the corner; to Ramon, who was the doorman and who was going to teach me some Spanish; and to Matilda who lived in the next-door apartment. Good-bye to the teachers, good-bye to our balcony, good-bye to my room. Good-bye to my life.
This stunk. I couldn’t even enjoy my new room. A year ago, I had finally talked Daddy into painting my bedroom furniture bright orange. Well, he didn’t actually do it his self because he said we couldn’t stink up the whole apartment with the smell of enamel paint, but he had a painter guy take it away and I had to sleep on the couch while my bed and the rest of it was gone. When it came back it was beautiful. Even when I propped myself up on four pillows to read something scary, the room kept me feeling good. But when I told Mama that the thing I wanted most of all for Christmas was a purple bedspread and pillows, Mama tried everything she could think of to get me to change my mind. She never actually said “No,” but she had me worried. I whined about it being Christmastime; she wanted her little girl to be happy, didn’t she? I had almost given up, but the bedspread was in a big box on Christmas morning and I got her to help me put it on, and it looked like the coolest room ever. Mama and Daddy both didn’t like it when I put all my dolls in the closet; they said it looked like an older girl’s room. I don’t understand what’s wrong with them. I’m nine years old; that’s practically a teenager!
Well, everything looked beautiful in my old room in the apartment. The walls were painted a really, really soft green and I (and all my girlfriends) thought it was gorgeous. They were kinda jellus, so that made it even better. Here, the walls are pink like the color you’d paint something for a baby. I just hate it. But it’s the only room I have, so it’s where I have to go when I’m mad or my feelings are hurt.
I was stretched out on the bed thinking of what I could do to the old lady when it sounded like somebody was knocking at her door. I got over to the window to look out and I saw Mama standing right in front of her door. When the door opened, Mama said, “Hello. I’m Kate Wilson. I’m your new next-door neighbor.”
The old lady said, “What is it you want?”
Mama said, “I don’t want anything other than to apologize if my dotter upset you today by chasing your cat and to let you know that Janie loves animals and would never hurt one.”
“That sounds to me like what most mothers think about their children and it may or may not be true.”
“It’s true, as you’ll find out as time goes on. I only hope we didn’t get off to a bad start, and that we can be good friends and neighbors.”
“Well, we’ll see” was the answer, and with that she shut the door. Mama stood there looking kind of dumbfounded for a minute, and then she turned around and came home.
Maybe now she’ll see what I mean.

COLLAPSE
Reviews:Gina B. on Amazon Reviews wrote:

Truly Delightful book! Once again, Audrie has proved her writing talent by capturing the youthful character of nine-year-old Jane. Jane has relocated from the Big City to a Small Town and has many adventures in this transition. Audrie's ability to tap into the mind of a child is very entertaining and well done. She puts the reader "right there" along Jane's side. It's fun, witty, adventurous and delightful. - Gina B., A Fan.

Joan Topinka Torres wrote:

Nine-year-old Janie Wilson is a girl with a lot to say. Despite her uncertain grasp of spelling, she has set forth a charming account of her transition from life in a big city to the adventures of living in a small town. A LOT LIKE JOAN OF ARC is a must-read for those who are increasingly forfeiting the values of family and security to possessions ans shallow attitudes.


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